What stretches me....

It really stretches me when....

It REALLY stretches me when someone asks me to do something I dream of doing, but I don't feel prepared to do yet...
..... when I have to read a book that is advantageous for my life, and the book requires contemplation and journaling.
..... when I have to keep records for the sake of personal accountability.
..... when I think about my faith from the vantage point of another religion or atheist's perspective.
..... when I pre-meditate what I would do about contraceptives in my (future) marriage; when oral contraceptives are so convenient.
..... when I take up the responsibility to take care of a child, but they're not my child per se.
..... when someone offends me or says sthg offensive and I confront them on it even in gentleness and as a way of not perpetuating the problem.
..... when I think about whether or not I am following Jesus like he said to do.
..... when I think about living without the "boxes" i.e. the conventions that society and religion has constructed.
..... when I think about going back to school to actually pursue my dream of becoming a nurse practitioner.
..... when I think about not being a married....like ever.
..... when I think about pursuing dance again, to honor Jesus, and spread his fame.
.... when I think about Islam religion and how I could study Scriptures and apologetics and entertain theological hard questions so as to have the knowledge to discuss things with a muslim perosn.
.... when I think the food I have the propensity to eat and where it comes from, how tainted it is. Its cloning. Its engineering...
.... when I think about eating 3 servings of green vegetables a day; and 3 servings of orange vegetables weekly. Aww man.
.... when I think about how I want to be financially sound, wise, savvy and generous and be stable enough to adopt children one day.
.... when I think about how much I desire to be different, to go hard after God, to be excellent, yet I also will have to endure hardship, pain, HARD WORK, and their faces (faces of confusion, misinterpretation, scoffing, and unsupportiveness.)
.... when I think about actually loving members of my family, not because they are family, but because they're individuals of whom God is very mindful.
.... when I think about how Jesus said my love for Him must be as hatred towards my parents; and even as hatred towards my life.

I'm trying to reconcile the tension of living and pursuing the dreams in my heart..... and the abandon to Jesus that scripture portrays of Jesus' disciples.

It really stretches me to know that I am called to love God like crazy, love people as myself, and FULFILL the same commission as any staff member at a church would have to fulfill.
Lord, you are with(in) me.
Your yoke is easy and burden light.
You've given me a couple of talents.... may I be presented to you as someone faithful and fruitful...
returning to you 100% profit on the talents you invested in me.

I notice you are actively trying to keep me humble.
I will cooperate.

Humble pie is sweet and organic,
Let it be so.